Category Archives: Film

James Bond Spectre review

The first twenty minutes seemed a repeated of the trailer and a lot of the time during the film, I was kinda bored! I understood the very basic storyline, there was very little twist or turn. It all felt rushed, characters were very short and you could say. What, When, How, Who?

They made a big thing about the new Aston Martian DB10 which did look very cool, there was an Omega watch thrown in there, but again no new exciting gadgets.

There was a few laughs and in parts enjoyable, but again I felt, been there done that. At one point in the film, there seemed to be (Haven’t we been here before?) a copy from “On Her Majesty Secret Service” when they were up in the Alps. The facility with the ski lifts seemed all too familiar.

One of those big American wrestlers thrown in and a big cabal of bad guys, hmm, typical. Bond being the dominant male having his way with every woman he meets, can’t he be rejected instead of having a girl who looks half his age! In the end, nothing new, nothing to gain and I certainly don’t think I was truly entertained.

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Assault on Wall Street, why did I watch this?

Currently on Netflix is another Uwe Boll film Assault on Wall Street. I didn’t realise it was a Uwe Boll film when I started watching it, as I generally stay away from his films as they are generally very poor and the guy is not a very good director. I understand why he makes films, because he is making money, a million here, a million there. Not the huge amounts like Hollywood, but he obviously gets by and makes more than enough to support his habit of producing these bad movies.

The film starts off in a sombre way as the main characters wife who works on Wall Street is not very well, the acting is not half bad, however she looks very well on the outside you would also think if she had a brain tumour, it would actually appear on the charts instead of what appears to be a very healthy scan! Then 15 minutes into the film the black guy tells his joke where you clearly see the burger complete on the left side of the plate, then when the camera returns in the same breath the burger is suddenly no longer looking like a burger but a clean cut sandwich on the right side of the plate.

Do you think anyone will notice my burger sandwich switch! Hey Uwe Boll did you see? Maybe he should of gone to spec-savers, wait a minute didn’t I have glasses?

Filmed in 2013, But set under the Bush Government which sets the film between 2001 to 2009 I kept wondering if the tech is right for the era. I couldn’t see any other faults with the film in tech terms, but I didn’t look hard enough. As it goes I thought this was one of Boll’s better films. Surprisingly the overture music was a nice accompaniment, however there is too much filler, lots of cut-scenes of New York, too much play on thinking.

Dominic Purcell who plays the main character Jim Baxford seems lost and doesn’t do anything until the last 20 minutes of the movie. You seem him go insane after his wife commits suicide, loosing all hope and then deciding to investigate the people who lost his money in his investments. I realised I failed to mention that a guy who is struggling to get by has investments on Wall Street.

Why he looks at his laptop and wonders where the fuck is his money? … Mr Boll, I am fucking bored with my investigation into Wall Street, can I go insane on your movie now?
I had this sniper rifle in my closet, is this a typical American thing or what!! Time for me to go insane!

When I thought we were going to get serious, he begins to do target practice, then he coldly murders a few people leading upto.

V for Vendetta inspired me! Or was that Mr Boll?

So he goes insane on Wall Street, wanting to take out the bad guys? But who are they, in fact he is mostly killing innocent people, making him the bad guy in the end. I really didn’t see any point about this film. I felt like I wasted my time watching it! And I leave you with one thought.

“Hey I am John Conner from Terminator 2, don’t you wish I could go back in time to terminate this shitty film before it even happens!”

Badge of Fury DVD Review

The film starts off with three deaths in a comical fashion which really wasn’t that funny where all the victims are smiling. The first thing that came to mind is the similarity with Batman, death by smiling! There seemed to be an incoherent start to the movie and an over use of comedy that really made it unfunny.

The next moment seemed to be a Matrix style battle which really wasn’t that well choreographed. Followed by a homage to Men in Black, during this scene they mentioned copyright infringement and a few Jet Li titles.

By this point the movie felt like a mismatch of ideas, but after that, the plot did get better and one or two of the sequences were not that bad. There seemed to be a lot of elements using concepts straight out of Stephen Chow’s play-book and they really didn’t implement them that well.

There didn’t seem to be much strength in the acting from anybody in this film. Nobody stood out and other than the girls being very fit! There seemed a very lack of effort with the whole flick.

There were no extras on the DVD, although it’s for sale in Tesco for only £3.00 I wouldn’t bother getting it!

1.5 out of 5.

Sharknado Review

I saw the film advertised on the SyFy channel recently and was amazed at how stupid it was, some really dodgy acting, some terrible CGI at times. And what is more baffling is how it’s suddenly raining, then suddenly dry. How one minute the same road that is flooded doesn’t have a single drop of rain on it, then reverts back to being flooded! O, and why they are trying to escape Los Angeles they have time to rescue a whole school bus of kids, who are raised to a bridge, vanish on the bridge and reappear only to disappear again!

These guys then made a load of bombs in what seems in no time at all, take a light weight helicopter next to a tornado which in all truth should of torn the dam copter to shreds. Then one of the girls get eaten by a shark only to come back to life after being pulled from it’s belly!

This has to go straight into my number one slot of the most incoherent film I’ve ever seen. With some poor dialogue, really bad puns and a heavy load of under acting this makes for an unemotional wreck. I am amazed they made a second one, which I shall probably watch also.

0 out of 5.

Red Tails review.

What drew me to this film was the fact that George Lucas and Lucas Arts helped make it happen. I had no idea of the history about the African-American squadron nor that Jim Crow Law would go so far as to separate and make such a squadron. I found the film enjoyable all-though at times stale. The dialog at points I found far to modern and the music didn’t seem to match the era. Cinematography was very impressive, flight and fighting scenes all very impressive.

One annoying problem with the movie is there isn’t any subtitles provided for the little bit of German when it is spoken. Other than that, not a bad film.

3 out of 5.

Jack Reacher review.

For a character who I considered a big guy in the books, if I remember he was suppose to be 6″5, this was certainly a little guy on the screen! At one point in the movie he walked into a bar where everyone was smaller than Tom Cruise! I found long parts of the film a bore, there was a lot of talking and when the action came I wasn’t that impressed. You could see Cruise was actually doing his own stunts, driving the cars and the speed racing ect. But the whole experience felt off, parts didn’t seem to fit, and the strongest character was played by Robert Duvall.

Things felt very predictable and what I thought might be in the film didn’t seem to be there, sometimes trailers sell you one thing and you see something else. Reading a book is one thing seeing on the screen is something else and I am not really sure if I needed to see it on screen after that!

2 out of 5.

Untraceable film is just … sick

I love tech based films, hacking, coding ect.. But I really can’t believe I am watching this one. I am not into horror and I just felt sick at some of the scenes. Do people really like that style? I’ve never watched any of the  Saw films, nor will I ever. I rarely watch horror, maybe some of the oldies when they were done right. Horror these days are so wrong, it’s just written by people who need psychological help.